We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
