You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
A bitchslap is in order.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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