I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
