At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
