THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
