i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Rumble strips road head = magical
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
