whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
