can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
