The maid of honor just puked.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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