Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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