i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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