whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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