At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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