take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
