I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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