no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
