ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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