bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
