I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
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