i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies