Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
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it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
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The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.