I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life