i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea