I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
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$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
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The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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