Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
