I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
