This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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