I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
