I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I wear drunk well.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
