Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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