So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
