of course. lets lasso hookers.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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