I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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