Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
