let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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