i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
