Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize