She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
