So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.