I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
grandma shit on top of the toilet
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
