its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
