she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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