Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
