dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
you win again, gameday.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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