It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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