I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
