Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
If I die, sorry about rent.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
