Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
