Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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