wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
