I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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