you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
