i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
