Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
he puts the penis in happiness.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
