sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
