You're so nebulous sometimes
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
