hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
