Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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