I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize