So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
