She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
