You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
