I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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