And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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