gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
did i just pee glitter
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
