He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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